Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Hello Hollywood

In the days when I used to spend time in California, I formed the opinion that the cerebral equanimity of many of the populace there was teetering on the brink. This I ascribed to their living at daily risk of forest fires, mudslides or the opening up of the San Andreas fault.
It's been some years since I used to hang around Hollywood, but I see little has changed.
Brand Beckham has arrived and another five minute wonder enthuses the inhabitants of the City of Angels, well, those of them that can read English.
Most of us would agree that David has a much better figure than Victoria although his voice leaves a bit to be desired. He was once interviewed by Ali G who said, memorably, “Because this is a comedy show, there's no need to talk in that funny voice.”
Celebrities are a dime a dozen in Tinsel Town and joining a team such as the LA Galaxy is about the equivalent of a place in the Twistleton in the Vale seconds, except that they wouldn't have had $250 million to spare, not even after the collection at the Parish fête.
When the hoopla has died down, it's hard to imagine that they will not be submerged in the surfeit of stars that litter the place. Eccentrics are not much welcomed there, unless your name is Orson Welles, so that rules out a singing role for Victoria, and soccer is not close to the hearts of many Americans. Neither Pele nor George Best ever managed to raise more than a polite smidgen of interest in the game.
In fact the major commercial aspect from the Galaxies point of view seems to have been the sale of tee shirts, which they claim has almost paid for the Beckhams. As someone who has never bought a branded tee shirt in his life, this strikes me as a more remarkable statistic than most that are bandied around that hyperbolic city.
They will need all the good luck they can get to make it there, although the money helps. Like Chicago “If you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere.”
But with all those tee shirts sold, I would advise Victoria not to enter the wet tee shirt contests that used to be a popular feature on the beaches.
That might be just enough to put Californians finally over the edge.


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