Saturday, April 07, 2007


It’s Easter, which in days of yore was celebrated as a religious festival. Now, of course, it is more likely to be regarded as the Feast of the Patron Saint of the Holy Chocolate Egg, St. Cadbury.
Although it’s been many years since I last drove in Britain, I recall that this weekend was also usually regarded as the opening of the ‘Road Works’ and ‘Diversions’ season. Thousands would come to pay homage to the Guild of Road Repairers, sometimes contemplating for hours in exhaust fumed ecstasy, while the authorities added to their joy by installing temporary traffic lights, programmed to spend 90% of their time on red.
The old A 38 road to the West Country was a popular venue for this ceremony and the sighting of a member of the Guild actually at work was an important and memorable event, since most of them were also taking the weekend off.
So this weekend I thought I would join many of the rest of you and have a break from my usual labour and concentrate on my personal project, compiling a book that will illustrate man’s inhumanity to man. Recent additions to the list have included the Big Brother television show, David and Victoria Beckham, CCTV cameras and Patricia Hewitt. Runners up have been the British Rail system and Ken Livingstone. Gordon Brown stumbled at the first fence but may still have a chance although the odds are lengthening. There are a good many other worthy candidates under consideration, of course.
My understanding was that an internet site, YouTube, was the most popular one on the planet and, since no-one has ever gone wrong underestimating the public’s taste, I thought it might prove to be a likely addition to my list of runners.
It was.
It is a generally acknowledged fact in the international community that my mental clockwork is in serious need of winding in order to allow me to appreciate modern trends and fashions. But who on earth could be bothered to waste time looking at YouTube is completely beyond me.
Most of the contributions are both incomprehensible and out of focus. Those that aren’t would appear to be in serious breach of the Copyright Act. The Government of Thailand has banned the site from their internet providers, ostensibly on the grounds that a contribution has insulted their Monarch. I believe that to be an excuse. More likely they banned it as being an insult to the intelligence of their citizens.
Perhaps I missed something worthwhile but it would seem that YouTube can only appeal to those with the attention span of a retarded hamster. Sadly, I suppose, therein lies the secret of its success.
Personally, I would recommend going and looking at some roadworks for more cerebral entertainment.
Or even trying to recall what Easter was originally all about.
Have a great weekend.



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