Monday, May 28, 2007

Downhill All the Way!

Once in a while I read a piece of news that brings shivers down the spine.
No, this time it’s not the failure to introduce Hips in a timely fashion. Frankly, I don’t believe that prospective house purchasers need the assistance of a government approved inspector to tell them that the property has double glazing.
No, this time it’s a failure on the part of that department whose purpose in life is to turn all Brits into namby pamby, mollycoddled Nintendo players. To whit, the Department of Elf’nSafety.
No doubt, being a wet holiday weekend, the staff were huddled up indoors playing Scrabble, a suitably non-hazardous sport, and one that undoubtedly has their seal of approval. It is, however, facing a serious threat to its future, owing to the inability of many school leavers to be able to spell. No doubt, there will be a text version available shortly.
It seems inconceivable that a well run government department, not headed by Miss Patricia Hewitt, could have failed to have representatives on hand at Cooper’s Hill, Gloucestershire, to prevent the recurrence of that insidious sport, the annual Cheese Rolling.
Incredibly, the government, so enthusiastic at removing all traces of history and tradition from the land, have allowed this hazardous event to continue, unchecked. It’s been here since Roman times and thus, under their mandate, is long past its sell by date.
And, Heavens above, someone might get a scratch or bruise. Unthinkable.
And then, with the campaign to stop children eating cheese, who knows? The event might trigger a run on the Double Gloucester in the school tuck shop.
One can only think that Rugby may be on the list of banned sports in the near future.
Mind you, in view of the English loss to South Africa the other day, that might not be such a bad idea!



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