Friday, January 18, 2008

Send in the Clowns

Whilst France may appear to have something of a Karaoke Clown for a President at the moment, this is nothing compared with the British, who appear to have cornered the market in clowns, Karaoke or otherwise, for their government.
Recently, one minister, Ms. Harriet Harman, advocated reducing the voting age to sixteen in order to 'develop a voting habit' in the young.
Presumably this was in line with NooLabour's 24 hour binge drinking policy to promote a 'cafe culture' and anyone who has warily trodden the pavements of London late at night, can see the evidence for the success of this policy as they scrape the vomited tikka masala from their shoes.
Perhaps Ms. Harman hasn't had the pleasure of eavesdropping on the conversations of her young constituents as they ride the top of a bus of an evening. If she had, she would probably not have understood a word they were saying, such is their appalling use of the English language.
But such a policy would ensure that NooLabour could garner quite a few votes in the future.
Undoubtedly, many of the new electorate now roaming the streets at night in search of some excitement in the form of intimidation and mayhem would vote in favour of such a government and their policies.
Apart from unbridled binge drinking, there would be the requirement that all young voters be allowed to carry knives. Accidentally killing an innocent citizen by stamping on their head would be treated as a minor offence of lesser magnitude than that of parking a car in a no-parking zone.
Cocaine and drug use would be compulsory, especially for 'celebrities' and presenters of children's television programmes.
The three R's could finally be disposed of as a useless hangover from Victorian days and replaced with meeja studies (i.e. the watching of TV for a minimum of 12 hours per day).
Parents who had the temerity to scrimp and save in order to send their children to private schools to ensure their education would be heavily penalised.
And the standards for university degrees should be lowered, only meeja studies being on the syllabus, in line with the policy of 'no child shall be without one.'
It's something you can all look forward to unless you get the circus to pack up its tent and leave town pretty soon.


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