Life-Style Gurus

When I was living in the United States, I always felt that the last person I would want to see in my house would be the life-style guru, Martha Stewart, telling me how to run my daily life.

However, I had never considered her to be a real menace to society.

The British authorities are clearly more perceptive than I, since they have denied her a visa to visit their islands.

The reason given is that, horror of horrors, she did a bit of tax fiddling a while back. Now we all know just how upright and honest all the members of Her Majesties Government are, confining their financial skulduggery to getting the taxpayers to cough up for their second homes etc., so I can see how offensive Miss Stewart’s misdemeanour would appear in their eyes.

Yet many others, guilty of far more heinous crimes, are allowed to set foot on the sceptred isle, many of them without shoes or visible means of support until they get their first benefit cheque.

So for Miss Stewart, I can offer a solution.

She has ample resources to purchase a fake passport, and recent events have shown that being caught with one is no hindrance to leading the good life in Britain.

And, if she plays her cards right, in a trice she could being in comfortable accommodation paid for by the government and drawing more benefits than the age old pensioners around her who have paid their dues to society over the years.

Now that’s what being a life-style guru is all about!