Monday, November 05, 2007

A Plague of Yellow Jackets

My friends at our local gendarmerie are still wetting their culottes over the news that the Metropolitan Police have been chastised, not for shooting an innocent man, but for breaking Health and Safety Rules.
“Ho,ho,ho,” they say – in French, of course – “Now we know the British are crazy.”
And I can only assume that the same rules are responsible for the serious outbreak of the yellow jacket disease that I have spotted on my recent visits to that “sceptre’d isle… set in a silver sea,” a quotation which proves that Shakespeare had never been to Skegness.
It seems that anybody who is anybody at all in the public sector now has to wear a jacket that makes them look like a ruptured canary.
Whether this is to make them safer or to make them a more easily recognised target, I’m not too sure. But when you wanted to know the time you used to ask a policeman so I’m told. Enquiring from someone wearing a yellow jacket may not prove to be quite as satisfactory since many will simply be jobsworths in some public appeasing task such as a Police Community Officer who clearly will not know the time of day except when it comes to pay day.
It would be interesting to see the statistics, say for instance, of traffic wardens who were killed whilst not wearing the aforesaid jacket compared with those now they do. We would have to leave assaults from enraged motorists out of this since the numbers would be too high, I suspect.
As the Health and Safety campaign shows no signs of abating, it can only be a matter of time before such hazardous occupations such as school teacher, housewife and librarian will be forced to wear the garb.
And, if it’s such a good thing, shouldn’t the government, so over protective of its citizenry, issue them to all and sundry?
British citizens only, of course, which will help to keep the costs down considerably as there aren't many left.


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